On the hook: A sweater, a vest, and lots of ornaments

It was the hottest day of the summer: one-hundred four degrees, heat index at one-fifteen. We were in the car. I can’t remember where we were heading to or from, and it doesn’t really matter. An impulse struck me. “Can we stop at the yarn store?” I asked Keith.

No sooner had we entered the shop than my eyes — and arms — were full of yarn: five hanks of Manos del Uruguay Maxima in Ultramarine and two hanks of angora wool spun by a local artist (pictured below, top left). Add three hanks of Manos del Uruguay Maxima in Prairie that caught Keith’s attention, and despite — or perhaps in spite of — the indomitable summer, an autumn crochet frenzy had been ignited.

After purchasing some additional yarn online, I’ve started on a vest for Keith to wear when we visit Vermont in October, plus a sweater or two (or three) for myself. There’s still plenty of yarn that hasn’t been designated yet, but I’ve got a few ideas. And, using the momentum all these other projects have given me, I started crocheting Christmas ornaments with a view to finally entering a local ornament show and sale this year.

Yet, with all of these cool-season projects going on, it seems that I’m now succumbing to some sort of seasonal dissociative disorder. I want to put on jeans and a sweater, but it’s still over eighty degrees outside every day. The greenness of the trees outside is sometimes startling. Forget grilled hamburgers and fruit salads and cold soups; all I can think about is roast turkey and squash and potatoes. And hot chocolate. And pie. At this rate, I’ll be ready to put up the Christmas tree by Halloween.

Make your own happiness

If you’re a perfectionist, like me, or just someone who likes the sensation of crossing things off lists — like me — you probably put a lot of value on quantifying your accomplishments. For people like us, there’s a positive correlation between accomplishments and self-worth: the more you get done, the more valuable you feel.

I woke up this morning feeling weighed down — physically and emotionally — feeling almost sad, lethargic, apathetic. I was hungry, but didn’t feel like eating; tired, but didn’t feel like sleeping. The house was dirty, but I didn’t feel like cleaning. I was bored, but didn’t feel like doing.

It’s tough, on a day like this, to get anything done. (Well, anything other than eating Ritz crackers and ice cream and watching season one of Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix. …What?!) Whether it’s motivation or inspiration you lack, the longer you sit around doing nothing, the worse you feel; and the worse you feel, the less motivated you are to get up and do something useful.

It finally occurred to me that there are two ways to approach this kind of situation, to deal with the ever-deepening hole. The first way is to sink in and let it take over. For an hour or two, I mindlessly sat in the living room, staring at Facebook, staring at the floor, thinking about how long my to-do list was, dreading it all. Cleaning. Crocheting. Designing. And at the same time, I was dreading reaching the end of the weekend and finding it wasted, feeling ill-equipped to tackle the week ahead.

The second way is to look toward the light at the other end. Instead of thinking about how much cleaning there is to do, I think about how good I feel when the house is clean and I work toward that. Instead of focusing on how much work is involved in cooking breakfast, I choose a dish that reminds me of fall and winter — my favorite time of year — and I make it. Now, I feel my spirits begin to lift, motivation to get moving, to feel productive — and happy.

I think of this as making your own happiness, and it’s largely about perspective. It applies to a single crummy day, or a crummy month, or a crummy year. You aren’t changing your circumstances, which often are (or seem to be) beyond your control; instead, you’re changing the way you view your circumstances. You can dwell on the negative aspects of the present situation, or you can focus on the positive aspects: what opportunities does this situation offer? Realizing that you have a choice is a tremendously powerful moment. A simple shift in perspective is often all it takes to start getting things accomplished and feeling more like a worthwhile, happy human being. No — a human doing.

Yours touchy-feelily,

Sarah

On bravery

Without Words: Summer of Babies

Alleviation

Softly tapping against the glass; tinny percussion on the car’s roof. Thunder rolls and vibrations in the air make my fingers tingle. The sharp scent of wet soil and bark tickles my nose. I close my eyes and drink in the sensations, feeling lighter with every lightning flash, feeling quieter with every easy, wet breeze.

The swelling heat and humidity has been weighing on me like a moon-sized water balloon pressing me down into a frying pan. I hate the summer, I grumble silently over and over again: my spiteful mantra. The air is laden with moisture; even the nearest treeline is hazy. My skin feels sticky and dirty whenever I step outside and I’m sweating before I’ve even walked fifty yards. My stride becomes lazy and slow, and I’m nearly dragging my heels along the ground trying to wade through the thickened atmosphere. I hate the summer.

As I go about my day, suddenly, the skies grow dark with steely gray clouds. The tension builds between the ground and the sky like static electricity until POW! a flash of lightning and CRACK! a wave of thunder and PAT! PAT! PATPATPATPAT! the rain begins to drop. Resentment-tensed muscles begin to loosen and I breathe deeply. Relief. My spirits soar, feeling lighter, cooler, cleaner, freer. I love the rain, I whisper silently over and over again, as if it will continue for as long as I think it. I love the rain.